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How Did I let “it” in?

This is the #1 question I get from people I’m working with who are being oppressed/harassed/demonized.

It’s a good question…and a legitimate one. The first step towards liberation isn’t found in the answer though or where it ultimately should lead us – to an intimate relationship with God – our deliverer, the real first step is to ask why you’re asking that question. What’s the motive.

If the motive is to truly humble ourselves to face whatever it is we have done (knowingly or unconsciously) or others have done to us that has “invited” demonic infestation then wonderful….great start.

Unfortunately that isn’t usually the case. In the dozens perhaps hundreds of “tough cases” I’ve dealt with in people suffering from real, complicated, demonic infestations; the hardest cases are not those in whom the manifestations are most severe or who’ve dabbled the deepest in the occult or who are unsaved Christians.

The toughest cases, those who never truly get free, or those who are perpetually haunted and oppressed and never press on to win their personal war are those who could never truly tame their pride and vanity enough to honestly face “how did I let it in”.

They are more than happy and willing to sit through endless lectures and sermons on the various names and characteristics of what is “haunting” them. They can deal with admitting that they played the Ouija board in the 80’s or that they allowed their buddy to do a tarot reading on them. They love to tell me that their pastor told them it’s because they are a power in the church – specially chosen by God and that the devil is targeting them for their potential as spiritual warriors or that it’s because they skipped out on their Bible study this week or made out with their boyfriend before marriage…..

And to a certain extent these are all plausible and genuine pieces of the puzzle.

But more than any Ouija board fascination or listening to death metal in your 20’s……the real reason that MOST people who are afflicted and oppressed don’t pursue and find true deliverance is their own personal vanity and pride that can’t allow them to ask and receive the true answer to how you let in evil.

They will use every survival instinct and tactic to discredit those helping them, to focus on causes that at the end of the day have nothing to do with the real reason Evil continues to harass, deceive and oppress them.

They think that true demonic possession comes about by strange incantations and seance like evocations and are surprised when the “casting out” words they’re using and the dozens of religious people around them are using don’t work. Not understanding that evil spirits respond to the secret incantations of your heart. What you love is what will answer you.

Why do you think who you are to love is a commandment? What you love can always be traced back to its creator. Do you secretly in your heart of hearts really love truth? And justice? Or do you secretly love you …attention and glory for you? Trace back self love and self worship and vain glory…who is the father of those things? Have you hidden that so well even you can’t see it? But evil spirits can and do and are invited accordingly.

The simple truth is that if they could just focus on one simple fact and prayer to be willing to ask God to create within them a clean heart in order to become brutally honest about themselves – they’d be surprised at the speed of advancements they’d make in their pursuit of deliverance and recovery from the snares of the Devil.

You would be surprised to see that Christ has already given you the power and authority to overcome every single trap the Devil has lined your path with……it isn’t that which trips you up, it’s the blindfold you keep insisting you’re not wearing.

Take it off. Get honest. Like really really honest. You’ll be surprised at what you find.

Surprised and Free.

The Lord says:

“These people come near to me with their mouth

and honor me with their lips,

but their hearts are far from me.

Their worship of me

is based on merely human rules and tradition they have been taught.

Therefore once more I will astound these people

with wonder upon wonder;

the wisdom of the wise will perish,

the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish.”

Woe to those who go to great depths

to hide their plans from the Lord,

who do their work in darkness and think,

“Who sees us? Who will know?”

You turn things upside down,

as if the potter were thought to be like the clay!

Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it,

“You did not make me”?

Can the pot say to the potter,

“You know nothing”?

In a very short time, will not Lebanon be turned into a fertile field

and the fertile field seem like a forest?

In that day the deaf will hear the words of the scroll,

and out of gloom and darkness

the eyes of the blind will see.

Once more the humble will rejoice in the Lord;

the needy will rejoice in the Holy One of Israel.

The ruthless will vanish,

the mockers will disappear,

and all who have an eye for evil will be cut down—

those who with a word make someone out to be guilty,

who ensnare the defender in court

and with false testimony deprive the innocent of justice.

Therefore this is what the Lord, who redeemed Abraham, says to the descendants of Jacob:

“No longer will Jacob be ashamed;

no longer will their faces grow pale.

When they see among them their children,

the work of my hands,

they will keep my name holy;

they will acknowledge the holiness of the Holy One of Jacob,

and will stand in awe of the God of Israel.

Those who are wayward in spirit will gain understanding;

those who complain will accept instruction.”

Isaiah 29:13-24

Think

Monday, October 10, 2016

“…So that you may discern…”

When new converts focus mainly on talking about the Holy Spirit, and “feelings” of conviction, or “feelings” of belief – it actually reveals how little involvement the Holy Spirit has in them.

These are the same people who talk about spiritual matters and sin and revelation with as much clarity and power as tea leaf readers. Having no real knowledge or understanding of how the Holy Spirit truly operates they are more than happy to make things up as they go along – and then pass that along to hapless souls who have no power to discern these false teachers.

Rather than let yourself be dragged to a “church” service that froths you up into emotional fervor to drown out the pain of your corrupted life, do yourself a favor. THINK. Think about what they are doing and saying. How much time do they spend actually reading from the Bible – rather than wandering around putting on a show. Who is teaching you? What are their credentials? I don’t mean doctorates and framed certificates from camp “Slain in the spirit”….I mean, are they actually teaching you about the Bible and what’s in it so that you can make a real and clear minded decision about what it means to follow Christ, or have they replaced biblical authority with an impulsive “come on down and receive Jesus”? Is the focus the ACTUAL Gospel?

Do you guys talk a lot about “conviction” and the mysterious workings in the spirit – but never deal directly with your depraved sexual sin, because they too have never had victory over it?

Listen, lack of biblical knowledge is fixable, so is lack of maturity, and a bunch of other lacks. But here is REAL danger. When you are taking advice from people who are too thick with pride to admit a lack.

Rather than admit that they too are a new Christian and need to focus on humbly growing in the word and in obedience to it – they pretend that they are already a teacher. And they become a stumbling block to you. As tempting as it is to jump in to the circus show that most churches have become – do yourself a favor and avoid the trap! Any REAL manifestation and work of the Holy Spirit will not be a physical or emotional sensation. That is your first sign of demonic and carnal activity.

And to those who secretly know this is exactly you pretending to teach when you have not even humbled yourself yet to learn – stop.

“Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:2



Friday, September 16, 2016

THE BATTLE FOR THE MIND (continued)

4. The unregenerate mind the stronghold of Satan.

The stronghold of the mind of man is therefore the strategic centre of the “war” with the “god of this age”, because it is primarily through the mind that he holds his captives in his power, and through the mind of those captives transmits his:

(1) Poison into the minds of others, and his
(2) Plans and schemes for arousing those souls to active rebellion against God.

The mind of the Christian is also the strategic centre of the “war on the saints” which Satan wages with ceaseless and fiendish skill. And for this reason the mind is the vehicle for the Spirit of God, dwelling in the spirit of the believer, to transmit to others the truth of God, which alone can remove the deceptions of Satan which fill the minds of all who are in the darkness of nature.

If the Holy Spirit is dwelling in the regenerate spirit have you considered the question of His outlet? If it were only by speech you would be an oracle! But there are no “oracles” on earth now. The “oracles of God” are the Scriptures. The Word of God is being displaced not only by the Higher Critics, but by many of God’s own people by their taking supernatural “revelations” as being of equal authority with the written Scriptures. There are wrecked lives because they have turned from the Word of God to what they call direct revelation. There is a direct revelation by God the Holy Ghost illuminating the Word of God, and putting it into the spirit, but not apart from the Scriptures.

5. The Holy Spirit and the mind of the believer.

If the mind is the vehicle of the Spirit it is absolutely necessary that the Spirit of God should have full possession of it, with every “rebellious thought” brought into captivity to Christ. The Holy Spirit, dwelling in the spirit, needs the mind as a channel for expression, but it may be so blocked up, and filled with other things that He is unable to transmit all He desires to do. A “blocked” mind means the spirit unexpressed, and a spirit unexpressed is a stoppage of the outflow of the Spirit of God to others.

6. The mind of the Christian not fully delivered.

This explains why numbers of God’s children are unable to hold the truth of God which they hear, or to apply it to their lives, or express it to others. The mind has never been fully delivered from the grip of the enemy. Shall I put it crudely, and say that many get new “hearts”, but they keep their old “heads!” They do not realize that unless the hold of the adversary, which he has through the fallen nature of man, is removed from the mind, he has a position of vantage in the life of the believer, for attack and for hindrance in active service. How many there are who have “minds” that never “think a thing out”.

Devoted children of God, with hearts full of love, but “minds” full of all kinds of mixture – minds that have not been renewed and delivered from the interference of the enemy. Consequently they have a strange lack of spiritual perception. They may get “flashes of light”, and follow the “flash” – which often like a will-o’-the-wisp leads them astray – but they are not intelligent in their spiritual vision. They do not know that God is able, not only to deliver the mind from the enemy’s grip but also to renew it, so that it becomes as clear as crystal, with “every rebellious thought brought into captivity.”

We have seen that one reason why the liberation of the mind is so important is because it is the vehicle of the spirit. Has it never struck you how extraordinary it is that the children of God can hear so much, and express so little? If you will ask one and the other to intelligently transmit something of what they have heard, they cannot do it. They have listened to volumes of truth for years, and yet they have no power to transmit, and help a soul in need. And many of these hearers will tell you that they have received a Baptism of the Spirit! The reason for this lies in the unrenewed mind. They may truly have received the Holy Spirit, but speaking reverently, He is “locked up” in the spirit, and cannot get through the blocked channel of the mind. One reason is that many children of God do not soak themselves, so to speak, in God’s thoughts.

They think that to read a text in the morning is enough, and so they do not get the mind fully renewed. All the working of the old mind is enmity against God, and that is why you find people prejudiced over truth. Whenever you find a man prejudiced over some truth he does not understand, it always means that there is some activity of the old mind. The mind is like a seed plot. We do not realize what we are taking in, or sowing in the ground for future use. If you only make a remark about some person you have sown a seed, and if it is a critical thought, it is there ready to blaze into a “prejudice” at the first opportunity.

All this is so true that it is easy to see now why the Apostle describes the “mind” as a stronghold which has to be taken for Christ, and brought into subjection to Him. It may not have occurred to us that much which we have looked upon as “natural” disability in the use of our minds is to some extent the work of the enemy, who pours into the mind which has never been fully taken out of his power, his own visions, thoughts, ideas and ways.

…to be continued.

Thank You!!

May 18, 2016

Thank you for all of your recent emails and comments!! I’m sorry that I’ve been away from my usual postings and updates and ramblings 🙂 BUT it’s all been for a good reason! I’m very excited to say that I’m in the process of writing 2 books. (If you know me by now you know I don’t do anything one at a time lol!)

God has blessed me so immensely to be able to do this that at some point I’ll have to dedicate a whole post on how incredibly divinely orchestrated this came to be. All of my life I’ve been a writer and I’ve always had a lot to say 🙂 but it never seemed a good time or really possible to be able to dedicate myself to this kind of intense endeavor. Until now. And the way it’s come about is INCREDIBLE. God is so cool!!

My 2 books delve into the study of demonic deception, oppression, possession and the progressive entrapment of the “spirituality” that is born out of the wisdom of man and promulgated by demons. They are an expose on the doctrine of demons that many….many have accepted as truth from God.

I will of course maintain my presence on my blog and share my updates and answer your questions! And anyone suffering from any kind of demonic infestation is still and will always be welcome to contact me through social media or simply email me.

I thank you for all of your support, kind words and genuine encouragement over the years to not only answer God’s call on my life but to embrace it. Fully. Thank you for walking with me with Christ! I pray that our lives and our works would be like a song of praise to Him…The One who called us out of darkness and adopted us as sons and daughters. The One who makes my song of praise an endless sound of joy in my soul and has given birth in me a warrior willing to pick up my sword and march straight into the enemy’s camp demanding the release of God’s people ensnared and beaten down by the enemy of our souls.

“The Son of God appeared for this purpose, to destroy the works of the devil.” 1 John 3:8

http://biblehub.com/nasb/1_john/3.htm

Keep Pressing In

The hardest thing about prayer is also the most powerful….persistence. Be consistent. The greatest weapon in your arsenal is the willingness to continue no matter what. Don’t give up. He hears you and WILL answer.

Here’s an excerpt from one of my favourite prayer books:


 

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An excerpt from the workbook: Recovered In Christ: Recovery IS Deliverance

The revised and updated workbook will be available soon!

“Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” – Alcoholics Anonymous’ step 4 of the 12 steps of recovery.

While working on this, spend some time in prayer every day for a few days asking God to reveal to you what you can’t see about yourself and your life that is blocking you from Him. Ask for light to be given regarding any ground/openings to the Devil to work in your life. God will show you.

Spend some time thinking about what the “Voice of Shame” says to you and what the Voice of Fear says to you…write them all down. Then spend time praying about what core beliefs (strongholds) you have that fuel these voices. Pray about this!

For ExampleThe Voice of Shame says “you’re garbage….you’re nothing….you are worthless….you’re insane and a lost cause and are better off dead.”

Core Belief: I am worthless to God

List as many as you can think of.

After this form of an in-depth “step 4” is done, share it with your friend/sponsor/mentor (Step 5). Be as honest as you can. Then…begin to vocally confess, renounce and pray against all of these “contracts” with the Devil! Humble yourself and do this in a real and authentic way with your sponsor/mentor. Be real. Expose your true self and motives. After this is done, sit quietly with with God reviewing your inventory and jot down creative ways to amend these situations and how to approach people you’ve harmed (steps 8 & 9). Pray for the power and desire to get deeper and deeper into prayer (steps 6 & 7), Bible reading (collective NOT selective study of the Bible) and meditation to safeguard against back sliding (Steps 10 & 11).

After finishing the inventory/confession/meditation/renouncing…keep praying and start looking for biblical verses that are the TRUTH in the face of these lies. Memorize them…make them yours. Trust them….for they are the words of God Himself…and only when you come into agreement with His truth can you truly revoke the contract with demons you made when you believed their lies, which created strongholds through these damaged core beliefs.

For Example….The Voice of Shame says “you’re garbage….you’re nothing….you are worthless….no one cares about you…God doesn’t know you…you’re insane and a lost cause and are better off dead.”

Core Belief: I am worthless to God

God’s Word Says “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Psalm 139: 13-16

God’s Word Says “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these…” Matthew 6: 25-34

The Voice of Shame says “you will always fail in trying to live up to God’s standards…you are too bad…too evil…no one can really love you.”

Core Belief: I always fail and I am just not good enough.

God’s Word Says “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.” Romans 5:6

REMEMBER: This section of facing and challenging core beliefs that have been formed through shame, sin and the lies of the Devil is very important, keep this in mind: “For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10: 3-5

After this is done – continue to share with people honestly, being watchful against the spirit of defensiveness and rebellion. Being vigilant to remain truthful and genuine and sincere, through a REAL willingness to be vulnerable and transparent. God can give you the power to do this but he will not overpower you to do it. YOU must humble yourself. And start to really get to know the Bible and allow the Holy Spirit to interpret and apply in you and your life the Truth.

Avoid discussing the work you are doing with those who will subtly or openly try to talk you out of it because they live in sin.

If…up until this point you have just been using this guide as a means to get deeper into step work and healing but have not put your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior…then I invite you to spend some time just talking to Him in simple prayer and reading the Book of John…my prayer for you is that He will reveal to you who He is and in doing so…you will be saved!

Treasure

Friday, February 12, 2016

I don’t know Christ only as a “breath of fresh air” inspiration from a morning devotional. I know Him like the very air I breathe every day in order to live. I do not know him only as the “answer-er” of my prayers, I know Him as THE answer to every prayer I have ever prayed. And all of the prayers I have not prayed, that were said on my behalf by The Holy Spirit. I do not know Jesus Christ only as a means by which I gain salvation. I know Him as MY salvation. Who He is, His life, His Personhood is that which sustains the eternal life given to my spirit. I am “saved” not only by Him, but also FOR Him. He is not only the author but the finisher and “tie-er upper” of every strand, circumstance and detail of my life. The Grand Master who has brought all things together to work together in my favour. The greatest favour bestowed on any living human being…the favour of knowing the Son Of God. The Favour of adoption into God’s family. The favour of receiving The heart of God Himself. God…the creator and owner of ALL things seen and unseen searched me out and used my ENTIRE life to show me the Goodness of His heart towards me. And the result? The love for and genuine desire to do God’s will is not a struggle. Why? Because HE is my treasure. I love you God.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21

Who Do You Serve?

Trying to get me to join your church makes you about as much a servant of God and His church as me trying to get you to join my gym would make me a personal trainer. In trying to expose my son to as many Christian fellowships as possible so he can not only see the many wonderful variations and members of Christ’s church, but to also give him first hand experience of the many traps masquerading as earnestness – it has been quite the experience for me as well. I am embarrassed at the lack of wisdom and discernment that so many of my “brethren” suffer from in so many churches. And I’m not talking about watered down non-biblical churches. I am talking about traditional, biblically based churches that have alot of well meaning people who love the Lord and are loyal to biblical doctrine. But they seem to think that cutting and pasting scripture into their lives like a list of rules they submit to and trying to “bring” people into their church is real Christianity.

Umm. No. Nope. Not even close! They don’t realize that they have become the very problem that Luther found in the Roman Catholic Church….that they claim they are nothing like. There is nothing wrong with wanting to see your group/church/community grow and flourish. There is nothing wrong with loving the order and comfort that comes with joining a church. But that’s not what I see. I see the real motive and reason and it’s ugly. When Christ is not TRULY the Lord and King of your life you will naturally seek an earthly one. Your message to a potential convert will be to draw them to your church or pastor, your message to a new convert will be to try to convince them that the seal of their conversion, the evidence of their faith in Christ will be to join your church. You will mix in your human tradition with God’s simple message…..no longer will it be good enough to simply invite people to your service, you will create rules and ordinances of refusing people baptism unless they make a “commitment to join your church”……saved by faith in Christ alone…..and a commitment to your church?

And why really? Is it really because you believe that you’re building up the body of Christ? Is it really because you are looking out for Christ’s sheep? Or is it really because in your heart you’re worried about how you’re going to pay the rent? Your dream and vision to grow your ministry has outgrown your loyalty to biblical authority.

You may protest and deny what I’m saying, but I’m just repeating back to you my extensive experience of the dozens of churches I have quietly and openly visited and studied. So many of you follow the same pattern!

Shame on you.

If you are truly loving the Lord and His Church with all of your heart, mind and soul I guarantee you that your message would be to lead people TO CHRIST. To lead them to a deeper understanding of His Living Word, to lead them to an active relationship with Him and I guarantee you that your church or position that you secretly worship would be destroyed and a real fellowship would grow up among you in your congregation. Filled with people hungry to follow Christ with you wherever you go.

You may claim that you do all these things anyway. But that’s not what I see. I see you putting your church, your agenda, your plans ahead of your King. I see your heart played out in your churches and it’s ugly.

Who do you really serve? Ask yourself in all honesty – are you in the Truth? Ask The Christ you claim to serve. He will answer you if you really want to know.

“I appeal to you, dear brothers and sisters, by the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, to live in harmony with each other. Let there be no divisions in the church. Rather, be of one mind, united in thought and purpose. For some members of Chloe’s household have told me about your quarrels, my dear brothers and sisters. Some of you are saying, “I am a follower of Paul.” Others are saying, “I follow Apollos,” or “I follow Peter” or “I follow only Christ.”

Has Christ been divided into factions? Was I, Paul, crucified for you? Were any of you baptized in the name of Paul? Of course not! I thank God that I did not baptize any of you except Crispus and Gaius, for now no one can say they were baptized in my name. (Oh yes, I also baptized the household of Stephanas, but I don’t remember baptizing anyone else.) For Christ didn’t send me to baptize, but to preach the Good News—and not with clever speech, for fear that the cross of Christ would lose its power.”

1Corinthians 1:10-17

Not A Peacemaker

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Someone mentioned to me that my posts are being plagiarized…lol…I’m flattered!!

Rewind Wednesdays:

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

There are some who really think they are doing God’s work as “peacemakers” – ambassadors of Mr. Let’s get along with everybody. But the truth is, you are actually aiding and abetting those who breathe out spiritual violence against the Christ you claim to Love. You think that makes you a peacemaker? It doesn’t. The fact that you are able to fellowship with people who harass and slander those of us for bringing the Bible back into recovery meetings makes you worse than weak, or double minded. It makes you worse than the persecutors themselves. Being friends with someone who hates my brother would make me share in the condemnation that hatred brings.

Preferring the company of those who live in darkness, and who attack those in the light you claim to be a part of, doesn’t make you a “bringer” of the light – it makes you deceived about the standing you think you have with Him – who IS The Light.

“Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them…

…Dear children, this is the last hour; and as you have heard that the antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have come. This is how we know it is the last hour. They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us.

But you have an anointing from the Holy One, and all of you know the truth.” 1 John 2:9-20

One of my favourite commentators of the year!

“…don’t these people ever wonder why everyone gets along with them? Why they never seem to rustle a feather on a beast? Are they really so self centered that they think they are just good diplomats?? The self aggrandizing delusion astonishes me. So these people that are constantly picking fights with and slandering other Christians seem to just fall under their “diplomatic” Holy Spirit sway? They need to get real. To those who think they are “peacemakers” but are really just lovers of self and the world – You’re not being attacked by the enemy because the “enemy” doesn’t see you as an enemy!!! Chew on that for a minute!” Nathan

Re-blogged

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to  this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:1-2

When I first started high school I was terrified, from a combination of many things. Being out of my comfort zone, having to figure out where all my classes were, where was I going to sit, who was I going to have lunch with? Would my junior high friendships survive this? All the new smells, sounds and information rushing at me. Definitely a major shock, especially to an emotionally damaged kid like I was! Out of all the pressing issues around me, finding my assigned locker and learning how to operate my combo lock was at the top of the list. In the winding hallways and corners of my huge school – finding and opening my locker was a big deal! It was a pathetic attempt to stave off the spiraling horror of my life – perhaps an oasis in the desert or maybe nothing more than a mirage. If I could just get myself to that locker and get it open – I could avoid thinking about and dealing with all the questions I was hopelessly lost about. How do I explain my crazy life to my friends? How could I make myself beautiful and hope that the boys, whose attention I desperately wanted would not see the ugliness people told me was there. How could I focus on the conversation about weekend plans while avoiding thinking about my mother’s suicidal rants? How do I pretend to be normal?

If you’re looking for a story on how I overcame the hellish depravity of my family life, and the narcissistic pressure of self-centered fear…and soared to great heights of confidence and some great spiritual lesson, you’re out of luck! This high school story does not end in any glory – it was brutal, and it stayed that way – for a very long time! I eventually dropped out and stopped playing the double life of being ‘normal’ – I ended my own personal torment of that by abandoning my life to crime, vanity and drugs. That really cured my high school jitters and obliterated my self-consciousness!

Many years later…after my KING in shining armor (God) rescued me and delivered me – and walked through many fires with me – I happened to go back to school – university  – in a place with even more winding hallways…and more uncertainty, I was close to a decade older than the students in my class! Was I nervous? Yes. Was I obsessed with finding all my classes and what the boys thought of me? Kind of. LOL!

Was I in torment? No. Was I LOST? No. Why? You see – I had even worse odds against me, I was a single mother out of my element in this school. I had been out of the ‘habit’ of learning for more than 10 years. It was 10 times bigger than my last school! I knew even less than I did in high school and yet had way more expected of me. Why was I not tormented? Why did I have the answers and solutions to things that had baffled me before? Why did I have so much confidence in the face of so much uncertainty?

Because I was not following the world anymore – even though I was fully immersed in it! I was not following what was expected of me, I was not following my family or my feelings. I was following God. I was no longer conformed to the world – I was transformed by the renewal of my mind and was THEREFORE able to discern the Will of God.

This is the point I am trying to make, that small example of being back in school is a microcosm of being in the world but not of it. I am surrounded by so many Christians who can’t seem to choose a pair of socks without the crippling doubt plaguing them of “I’m not sure this is God’s Will for me” – they are constantly unsure of what move to make – they can’t seem to make any spontaneous decisions and somehow that’s been spiritualized into them believing they are deferring to seek God’s Will rather than their own in that situation. But this is far from the truth. In truth – they are still approaching the world with a mind that is still conformed to it – attempting not to be. Rather than a mind renewed by being a living sacrifice to God which comes as a response to the mercies of God! A renewed mind that would have the power to test and discern what is the good, acceptable, perfect will of God.

They are like a high school graduate who has never found their locker in the 4 years they were in high school! But they can’t seem to see how ridiculous it sounds to keep asking “Where is my locker?” umm…after 4 years of being in that high school and not finding your locker – I’d start asking something more along the lines of “What’s wrong with me?” – If you’re a real Born again Christian and yet you still keep asking “Is this God’s Will for me” I’d start asking “What’s wrong with me?”.

Instead of trying to figure out God’s Will for you in each and every step of your life, wrestling with the silliest of questions like whether or not to go to a specific place, or worse, cut yourself off from the world, thinking that’s the only “safe” path to holiness – ask instead “Am I conforming to this world – keeping a carnal mind trying to discern the spiritual?” If so – you’d be better off to start praying the prayer that Jesus Himself prayed for us “Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth” (John 17:17)

Jesus’ prayer on our behalf:

“I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth.”

“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world. O righteous Father, even though the world does not know you, I know you, and these know that you have sent me. I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them.” – Jesus

Exalted

Monday, October 26, 2015

I’ll always be rooting for the “tax collector” among us – you know who you are. Maybe you’ve fallen in the ditch of sin again – maybe it’s one more failed treatment centre stint – maybe those who are supposed to be helping you are instead kicking you when you’re down…while puffing themselves up. Maybe the voices tearing you down are too loud. Maybe you’re just too tired to get back up on your feet and try again. My advice to you is this: Get up anyway. Shake the dust off your feet. Pick up your sword and keep moving. Let God carry your burden. He’s on your side. He is not the one counting your mistakes against you. Challenge the lies you keep accepting as truth. Ask God what lies you are believing. He will show you!

Then Jesus told this story to some who had great confidence in their own righteousness and who scorned everyone else with contempt:

“Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: ‘I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else. For I don’t cheat, I don’t sin, and I don’t commit adultery. I’m certainly not like that tax collector! I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income.’

But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, ‘O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.’

I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” – Jesus (Luke 18:9-14)